As of this writing my and wife are Celebrating 41 Years of Marriage! It is our “one and only Marriage.” We were Married in our early 20’s.
Marriage is a Covenant. In Western Societies such as the United States of America. We don’t really have the understanding of a Covenant like Eastern Societies do.\
A Covenant before God is for LIFE. It has been said there are only the 3 A’s as valid reasons for divorce. The 3 A’s are: Adultery,Abuse and Addiction. I am not talking about those types of Marriages at this time.
I am talking about Marriages between two believers who know the Word of God And the 3 A’s is absent. However, the husband and wife choose to not obey the Word of God and make it work.
The other issue is. It does take two to make it work. But on the other hand many give up to easy.
Genesis 2:24 says: A man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. A husband and wife are to “leave their parents and cleave” to one another. What does that mean? Be in harmony with one another.
In Ephesians 5:21-33 this is one of the best passages in the bible about Marriage. In verse 21 it says submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God. Verse 22 says wives submit yourself to your own husband. In our modern world asking a wife to submit herself to her husband are fighting words to some wives. So I would use the word wives respect your husband. If you cannot respect him you should not have Married him.
Verse 23 says the husband is the head of the wife. For some men this is the only scripture they know in the bible. And they use this scripture out of context. If we leave it in the context of this passage first of all the husband is suppose to submit himself to his wife according to verse 21 and it verse 23 it says he is the head of wife EVEN AS Christ is the head of the Church.
Jesus gave his life for the Church. Jesus loved the Church. So the husband is the head of the wife EVEN AS he follows the example of Jesus. By loving and giving his life for his wife.
I have said for years that God has downloaded into the DNA of a Wife a need for Love. God has downloaded into the DNA of a Husband a need for Respect If the husband will LOVE his wife even as Jesus loved the Church. If a wife will RESPECT her husband. You will have a Sweet Marriage that will last the test of time!
Every Marriage is different. Every Husband and Wife are different. However, we have God’s Word that he will help us if we both follow his Word and with the help of the Holy Spirit it is possible to make the Marriage last a lifetime!
Genesis 2:18-24 says, the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a help meet for him. In verse 24 it says, The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh. Verse 23 says, Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Isn’t it interesting that God did not take a bone from Adam’s back indicating the Woman should be behind the Man, And God did not take a bone from Adam’s head indicating that the Woman should be ahead of the Man. God took a bone from “his side” indicating that the Woman is supposed to walk side by side with the Man. As equal partners in the Marriage. God always has purpose in everything he does!
Proverbs 5:18-19 says, Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and be ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 18:22 says, Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of the life of your vanity…
From all of these verses we see it is the Will of God for Marriage to be full of Blessing, Rejoicing and Joy!
What does the Bible say about Divorce? Malachi 2:14-16 says, the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, whom you have dealt treacherously, yet she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant. Did not I make you one? Yet you had a residue of the spirit. Why one? That you might seek a godly seed. Take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, says he hates putting away: for one covers violence with his garment, says the Lord of hosts: take heed to your spirit, that you deal not treacherously . God uses the word treacherous three times in this passage. Dealing treacherous is being false, disloyal and untrue. And God says he hates this behavior and Divorce. The Word makes an exception for Divorce which is Adultery. I believe there are other exceptions. I call them “the Three A’s” Adultery, Abuse and Addiction. Adultery is a bible word. Abuse and Addiction are not bible words. However, there are bible words that mean the same thing. Hate could be used for the word Abuse. And the Lust of the Flesh can be used for Addiction. If a Spouse has violated the Marriage with Adultery, Abuse or Addiction. The other Spouse should seek the Leading of the Holy Spirit on how to proceed because every Marriage is different.
Matthew 5:31-32 says, It has been said, Whosever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce. But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committed adultery. Now on the surface these verses seem to be saying if you divorce and remarry you are committing adultery by remarrying. Well I know for a fact that God has blessed some second and third Marriages. When ever you see something in the Word that does not seem to make sense you have to dig deeper. In Mark 10:2-12 it says, The Pharisees came to Jesus and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. Jesus said, what did Moses command you? And they said, Moses allowed to write a bill of divorce, and put her away. Jesus said, for the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But FROM THE BEGINNING OF CREATION God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two but one flesh. What God has joined together let not man put asunder. Jesus is saying, FROM THE BEGINNING OF CREATION before Adam and Eve sinned everything was PERFECT! God’s original intent for Marriage was for it to last a lifetime and if everything had stayed that way in a PERFECT WORLD there would be no divorces because everything would be PERFECT. However, we all know we live in a fallen world and everything is not perfect. But that was the context in which Jesus was speaking.